Anxiety · Complaints · Mental Health · Self · Self-Care · Transverse Myelitis

Been there, Done that!

For over four year I have done…

  • Physical Therapy
  • Occupational Therapy
  • Mirror Therapy
  • Sympathetic Therapy
  • Massage Therapy
  • Fluido Therapy
  • TENS unit
  • Acupuncture
  • Cupping
  • An AFO
  • Ankle braces
  • Night splints
  • Stretching
  • Chiropractor
  • Contrast baths
  • Botox Injections

Spent a small fortune and countless hours in appointments, driving to and from appointments and performing the exercises and stretches given to me at home. Although I have come a long way from being paralyzed, it is not enough.

  • Sprained ankles
  • Broken toes
  • Fractured foot
  • Foot ulcers

These are the big ticket items, but there is a laundry list of smaller ailments as well, but I won’t bore you. I have worked with Neurological Rehabilitation doctors, Podiatrists, Orthotists and countless other medical professionals as well.

Many of my daily struggles are less visible:

  • Foot/ankle contortions which cause trips, falls, sprained ankles
  • Restless sleep with night splints and my foot twisting inward from spasms
  • Spraining my ankle by rolling over in bed because of the resistance of a light sheet
  • Swelling of my ankle after gently kicking my legs in a pool while sitting on the edge
  • Broken or bruised toes from putting shoes on, rubbing in shoes or stepping on them with the same foot to which they are attached
  • Overwhelming stress about being injured and set back
  • Constantly watching nothing but the ground while I walk and missing out on everything that is around me
  • Inability to be able to be fully present and watch what my daughter is doing without being completely immobile
  • Fake fatigue to allow my husband and daughter to hike without guilt of leaving me behind
  • Inability walk on grass or gravel without ankle brace and cane or person for support
  • Pretend that I am okay and happy, not stressed or hurting.

It’s too much. I refuse to live like this forever because it does not feel like a life worth living. I have made a decision that will help me move forward. Most will not understand because they aren’t living in this body. Soon, but not soon enough, I will take on new challenges. For now it is hope and it’s been a while since I have felt hopeful. Tis my light at the end of the tunnel.


3 thoughts on “Been there, Done that!

  1. Ayesha this is so lovely! All the strength to you and family. It isn’t easy but you are setting up a great example for others to emulate.

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