Been there, Done that!

For over four year I have done…

• Physical Therapy
• Occupational Therapy
• Mirror Therapy
• Sympathetic Therapy
• Massage Therapy
• Fluido Therapy
• TENS unit
• Acupuncture
• Cupping
• An AFO
• Ankle braces
• Night splints
• Stretching
• Chiropractor
• Contrast baths
• Botox Injections

Spent a small fortune and countless hours in appointments, driving to and from appointments and performing the exercises and stretches given to me at home. Although I have come a long way from being paralyzed, it is not enough.

• Sprained ankles
• Broken toes
• Fractured foot
• Foot ulcers

These are the big ticket items, but there is a laundry list of smaller ailments as well, but I won’t bore you. I have worked with Neurological Rehabilitation doctors, Podiatrists, Orthotists and countless other medical professionals as well.

Many of my daily struggles are less visible:

• Foot/ankle contortions which cause trips, falls, sprained ankles
• Restless sleep with night splints and my foot twisting inward from spasms
• Spraining my ankle by rolling over in bed because of the resistance of a light sheet
• Swelling of my ankle after gently kicking my legs in a pool while sitting on the edge
• Broken or bruised toes from putting shoes on, rubbing in shoes or stepping on them with the same foot to which they are attached
• Overwhelming stress about being injured and set back
• Constantly watching nothing but the ground while I walk and missing out on everything that is around me
• Inability to be able to be fully present and watch what my daughter is doing without being completely immobile
• Fake fatigue to allow my husband and daughter to hike without guilt of leaving me behind
• Inability walk on grass or gravel without ankle brace and cane or person for support
• Pretend that I am okay and happy, not stressed or hurting.

It’s too much. I refuse to live like this forever because it does not feel like a life worth living. I have made a decision that will help me move forward. Most will not understand because they aren’t living in this body. Soon, but not soon enough, I will take on new challenges. For now it is hope and it’s been a while since I have felt hopeful. Tis my light at the end of the tunnel.