I hold myself to high standards. Always have. Many times they are unrealistic standards, especially after getting sick. Frequently I have forgotten to adjust my expectations (mostly out of habit). I forget that things are different now. This is how I get into trouble.
Other times I think it is my personality. No matter how well I ‘know my stuff’, whatever that may be, I feel like I do not know enough. I need to know more. This drive is good, but hard to maintain. I am rarely satisfied with my progress and if I am, it is short-lived.
Am I a self-made underdog? Does this keep me going? Has this helped me? sure. Is it hurting me, mentally? maybe.
I guess this is just another instance where I need to learn balance. Too much is any direction is no good. Maybe I need to have more faith and trust in myself and my abilities.
Inadequacies & Insecurities
Demons. Nemesis.
Forever lurking in the shadows.
Need. To. Shake. Them.