Twisted

So since my diagnosis of Transverse Myelitis I have had trouble doing certain things. My largest frustration comes from my left ankle. It is weak, unstable and plain old stupid. The amount of headaches and drama this ankle causes me is unreal. Not only does it prevent me from doing certain things, but it creates major set-backs every time it misbehaves.

I am always cautious and aware of its placement and the terrain under it. I take extra steps to ensure I don’t slip, trip or twist it.

BUT…..

While I was walking through Eldorado State Park on the flat gravel road with minimal incline (yes – I triple checked these things) I somehow mis-stepped and created a painful but comical scene. — see below–

My left ankle rolled out, my right foot stepped forward to prevent my full weight from landing on the ankle. My balance shifted so I stepped and danced while cursing. Once I regained my balance and composure I hobbled back to my car with tears burning in my eyes. Before I even reached the car, which was maybe 150 -200 feet from where I was, my foot and ankle were so swollen I knew if I took my shoe off there was no way I would be getting it back on that evening.

More than being angry about the pain – I was pissed, fuming, furious and outraged. How come no matter how careful I am, shit like this happens? I did everything right with this walk. I should be enjoying myself. This is at the beginning of my week in the greater Denver area. Yet, I danced like an elephant on skates and injured myself.

I feel like Humpty Dumpty. The Humpty Dumpty who can never stay put together for long.

Not today.

Not for me.