So Taylor is gone this week at Girl Scout ‘Ninja Girl’ camp. It is her first week-long overnight camp. The day before she left we were looking over her packing list and the camp map. While holding the map she turns and looks at me very straight-faced and says very matter of fact like “You know mom, there are no fences around the camp. I can escape at any time.” My stomach dropped and I immediately asked her “Why would you say something like that to your mother? Especially the day before you leave for camp?” She replied “How does that make you feel? Let’s talk about that.” So I explained that it does not make me feel very good. It makes me feel like I want to cancel her trip and lock her up forever so she never leaves my sight. She laughed and then said in an exasperated voice “oh, mom”.
Now we come from a long line of Rickard’s who have humor and sarcasm running through our blood. I appreciate that she inherited and uses this trait – however, when it is on me the night before I let my baby leave for a whole week in the middle of the woods with strangers – NOT COOL.
So we dropped her off at her cabin in the woods. Two of her bunk mates were already there. I introduced Taylor as did the mother of a little girl named Daphne. Eva introduced her self. After she was settled while we walked her over to her camp leaders I was thinking to myself that my friend has a niece named Daphne, but for some reason was thinking she was younger than Tay.
After we gave her over and hugged her goodbye we began our walk back to the car. It wasn’t until we were halfway to the parking lot that it hit me – I would have no contact with my baby for a whole week. Now we have left her before with family, but have always been able to talk, Skype and send/receive pictures during our time away. This is totally different. After my husband told me to buck up that she would be fine I pulled myself together.
It is only Thursday and she will be home tomorrow night, but honestly, not hearing her voice is killing me. I have teared up on occasion while thinking about her. Evenings are the worst. I miss her ramblings about her day and all her little nuances. One of the rules at camp is no phones, electronics or calls. I really was not prepared for how much it would affect me. So this week to distract myself I have been cleaning, organizing and purging. Now I just get to countdown the hours until her return.