As a parent and hobbyist photographer I am generally the one capturing moments of our family; I am rarely in the pictures. I was pondering this. If anything were to happen to me, what would my daughter have to look back on. What visual memories would she have of our time together? Our family pictures have been few and far between. All of our cell phone photos tend to be of her…just her being her adorable quirky self.
On the rare occasion we do look through pictures Taylor always questions “Mommy, where were you?” I always reply, “Taking the picture my dear.”
This got me thinking – which happens a lot. I am always distracted with thoughts about things… I even over-think many things. This happens to drive my husband crazy.
Anyways, I was thinking about a tragic accident that happened in February this year. It was a fatal car crash that took the life of the father upon impact and left the mother in critical condition. The mother did not pull through. Their one year old twin boys are orphaned. This is a heart wrenching real-life incident that has impacted many and effected the community greatly.
Aside from holding my little one a little closer and being thankful for our time together; this horrific accident made me think of the what IFs…
I double checked our will. I make sure to spend more one one with our sweet girl, even when I am exhausted, and I take extra steps to document our lives together.
Most of the time it is blurbs on Facebook or cell phone photos. I am doing better at busting out my DSLR to get shots of her and her dad causing trouble. I want these memories preserved. I want something tangible for her to look back on IF…
This brings me full circle to me not being in pictures. I am trying to be better and have Nick take pictures of Taylor and I doing whatever nonsense we have gotten into. I am also trying to take more family photos or family selfies.
I am trying now……..so I don’t have regrets IF…..
The other thing I was thinking about with this whole photographs topic is makeup. Yes, I said it MAKEUP. Generally if we will be taking a family photo or going to family event where there will be high potential for pictures – makeup happens. Not just mascara, but the whole schabang.
I am more confident with it on – why ? ? ? I don’t know. I am the same sassy little ol me – with or without makeup. But that is how I feel. Which is funny because I maybe wear makeup 5% of my daily life. So why do I feel the need to “change my appearance” for pictures?
That doesn’t make any sense right? The mom that Taylor sees and will remember RARELY wears makeup. The mom that plays and tickles and paints doesn’t wear makeup. The mom that goes shopping or out for Fro-Yo on a whim is not makeup wearing. The mom that constantly harasses her, does not wear any makeup.
So why are the few pictures that we have to show of this mother, always dolled up wearing makeup?? When did I become so insecure? How can I teach and not just preach to her that she is beautiful without makeup? How can I expect her to love herself and be confident in who she is, when I am showing her how not to be?
Apparently, I need to start walking the walk instead of just talking the talk. So to begin this journey I called for an impromptu family photo shoot – sans makeup.
This is our family. This is how we generally look. This is how we live our lives. This is how I want to her to remember us when she looks back on old pictures and makes fun of our fashion choices and haircuts. Perfect imperfection.
This is us.
How do you catalog your families adventures? I love to hear some of your ideas!